How Do You Talk To Yourself?

We all have a voice running in the background of our minds. Sometimes it cheers us on. Other times…it tears us down.

And here's the truth: that inner dialogue doesn't just shape your mood - it shapes your business and your progress.

Lately, I’ve been paying close attention to how I talk to myself. The little phrases I repeat, the doubts that sneak in, the pressure to “push harder.” It’s eye-opening how much those words set the tone for my day, my energy, and my decisions.

If the voice in your head is whispering "you're always behind," "you're not cut out for this," or "just push harder," your brain and body take that as truth. And when you're already navigating fluctuating energy, ADHD focus shifts, or perimenopause brain fog, those messages hit even harder.

But here's the good news: the same way negative self-talk can drain your confidence and clarity - if you work on it, over time you can rewire your brain for calm, creativity, and better decisions.

🧠 Train Your Mind Like A Champion

Research shows that both instructional (how-to) and motivational (encouraging) self-talk can boost performance. In fact, a 2019 meta-analysis in the Journal of Sports Sciences found that self-talk not only improves self-confidence but also reduces cognitive anxiety and sharpens focus - literally changing how our brains process stress.

And this isn’t just theory. Functional MRI studies from Michigan State University have shown that using your own name in self-talk actually calms the amygdala (the brain’s fear center) and activates regions linked to self-control. In other words: how you talk to yourself changes your brain chemistry in real time.

The greats have known this for decades. Muhammad Ali famously said: “It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” Ali wasn’t just boxing in the ring - he was reprogramming his mind with every “I am the greatest.”

Michael Jordan echoed the same truth: “I always felt that my greatest asset was not my physical ability, it was my mental ability.”

But this isn’t reserved for elite athletes. Studies with entrepreneurs show that positive self-talk can reduce decision fatigue, improve risk tolerance, and even expand creative problem-solving - skills every business owner needs when their energy and focus fluctuate.

These champions didn’t just train their bodies - they trained their minds. And you can too.

👉 5 Ways to Transform That Inner Voice

1. Catch It & Name It

Next time that inner critic pipes up with "You're not qualified enough for this," try this: Just say "Oh hey, there's my worry voice again!"

Sounds too simple? Here's why it works - the moment you label it (worry, fear, etc.), you create distance between you and the thought.

You're not being worried, you're noticing worry. It's like turning on the lights and realizing that scary shadow is just your coat hanging on the door.

2. The Best Friend Test

Would you talk to your best friend the way you're talking to yourself?

When Howard Schultz was building Starbucks, plenty of people told him his coffee shop idea would never work. He could have let that inner voice echo their doubts. Instead, he treated himself like he would a friend - with encouragement and belief.

Sometimes we are our own worst bullies, but we can also be our own best coaches.

3. Flip the Script with Questions

Instead of "Why am I so behind?" try "What's one small thing I can do today to move forward?"

Instead of "I always mess this up" try "What did I learn last time that I can apply now?"

Your brain is basically like Google - it finds what you're searching for. So give it better search terms!

4. Create Your Personal Highlight Reel

Keep a simple note on your phone titled "Wins." Every time something goes well - a client says thank you, you solve a problem, you show up when you didn't feel like it - write it down.

When that inner critic starts its usual routine, pull out your highlight reel. Because here's what I've learned: your brain's default setting is to remember what went wrong, not what went right. But you can train it to look for the good stuff too.

5. Talk to Yourself Like You Matter

This one might feel weird at first, but try it: Start replacing "I have to" with "I get to."

I have to post on social media” becomes “I get to share my ideas with people who need them.”

“I have to write this email” becomes “I get to connect with my audience and help them take the next step.”

Small shift, huge difference in how your brain receives the message.

Why This Actually Works

Here's what's happening when you consciously change your self-talk: you're literally rewiring neural pathways. Every time you catch a negative thought and replace it with something more helpful, you're strengthening new mental habits.

It's like switching from a path through thorny bushes to a smooth walkway. The more you use the new path, the easier it becomes to find.

✨ Your Challenge This Week

Pick one technique that resonates with you and commit to trying it for just one week. Notice what changes - not just in your mood, but in your decisions, your energy, and how you show up in your business.

Because here's the truth I keep coming back to: the voice in your head is one of the most powerful tools you have. When you learn to make it your ally instead of your enemy, everything changes.

^{Partner Disclosure: some of the links in my emails may contain affiliate links, which means if you click on them and make a purchase I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. This helps support my work and allows me to continue providing valuable content to you free of charge. Thanks for your support!}