The Invisible Break

Let's talk about that maddening space between action and momentum.

You know, where you feel like your doing ALL the things, checking ALL the boxes, showing up with ALL the effort...

But somehow you're still spinning your wheels in the same dang spot.

From the outside, you look productive. Heck, you might even feel productive. Your calendar's full. Your to-do list is getting checked. You're learning, growing, consuming content like it's oxygen.

Yet underneath all that motion, there's this subtle resistance. Like driving with the parking brake on - you're burning fuel, making noise, even moving forward a little...but something's holding you back.

I've lived in this space so many times, I should probably get mail delivered there.

So let’s get into it.

The Lie We Tell Ourselves (And Why Our Brains Love It)

When we feel stuck despite taking action, our first instinct is always the same: "I must need more information."

So we sign up for another course. Buy another planner. Watch another masterclass. Read another book about productivity systems.

We treat confusion like it's a knowledge problem.

But here's what I've learned after years of trying to out-learn my own resistance:

Confusion is rarely about clarity. It's emotional protection dressed up as a logistics issue.

Research in neuroscience shows that when we're emotionally threatened, our prefrontal cortex - the planning and decision-making center - literally goes offline. We can't think clearly because our brain is too busy protecting us from a threat we haven't consciously identified yet.

The Hidden Brakes (A Field Guide to Your Resistance)

After years of detective work on my own stuck patterns, here are the usual suspects I've identified:

The Visibility Paradox 

"I want to be seen" crashes into "What if they see the real me and run?"

Your brain's response: Let's stay busy with backend work. Forever. Systems! Processes! Anything but actually showing up where people can judge us.

The Burnout Masquerade 

This one's sneaky. It shows up as procrastination or lack of motivation, but it's actually your body's wisdom screaming: "WE CANNOT DO THIS PACE ANYMORE."

This is especially brutal (and common) for those of us juggling ADHD and/or perimenopause - our executive function is already doing its best when our hormones are already playing musical chairs with our energy. We mistake exhaustion for resistance and try to push through when what we need is radical rest.

The Impostor Loop 

"Who am I to charge these prices? To call myself an expert? To take up this space?"

Every new level triggers a fresh wave of "they're going to find out I don't belong here." You think once you hit certain milestones - 6 figures, 100 clients, that certification - the feeling will disappear. But the truth is, it doesn’t. The more you achieve, the higher the stakes feel. Now you have further to fall when everyone "discovers" you're a fraud.

The Success Terror 

As crazy as it sounds, sometimes we're not afraid of failing - we're terrified of succeeding.

Because success means change. Success means responsibility. Success means we can't play small anymore. Success means people will expect this level from us forever.

Your nervous system sees success as a threat to homeostasis and hits the emergency brake.

The Grief We Won't Name 

Sometimes the biggest brake is mourning the version of our dream that isn't working anymore.

The business model we loved but can't sustain. The identity we built but have outgrown. The goal we've been chasing that we're not even sure we want anymore.

We can't move forward because we're still holding a funeral for what we're leaving behind.

The Questions That Unlock Everything

When I catch myself in the busy-but-stuck loop now, I've learned to stop asking "What else should I be doing?" and start asking:

- "What feels unsafe about the next step?" Not logically unsafe. Emotionally unsafe. What story is my nervous system telling about what happens next?

- "What am I afraid will change if this works?" Sometimes we're subconsciously protecting our current reality, even if we consciously say we want something different.

- "What would this look like if it were easy?" Often, we're adding complexity because simplicity feels too vulnerable. Too exposing.

- "What grief am I avoiding by staying busy?" What ending am I not ready to acknowledge? What identity am I afraid to release?

- "If I trusted myself completely, what would I do differently?" This one cuts through impostor syndrome like a hot knife through butter.

The Resistance Reset Protocol

Here's my framework for working with resistance instead of against it:

1. Name It Without Shame 

"I notice I'm feeling resistance to [specific action]. That's interesting."

Not: "I'm so lazy/broken/behind." Just: "Huh. There's information here."

2. Body Scan for the Brake 

Where does the resistance live in your body?

• Tight chest? (might be fear)

• Heavy limbs? (might be exhaustion)

• Churning stomach? (might be misalignment)

• Foggy head? (might be overwhelm)

Your body keeps score, and it's surprisingly specific if you listen.

3. Negotiate with Your Nervous System 

Instead of bulldozing through, try: "What would make this feel 10% safer?"

Maybe it's:

• Doing it imperfectly first

• Having an accountability buddy

• Setting a smaller boundary

• Taking it private before public

• Giving yourself an escape hatch

4. Take One Honest Step 

Not a huge leap. Not a perfect step. Just one honest movement in the direction of what's true.

The size doesn't matter. The honesty does.

Here's what I wish someone had told me years ago:

Resistance isn't your enemy. It's your bodyguard.

It's trying to protect you from something - usually something that hurt you before. Maybe criticism. Maybe burnout. Maybe disappointment. Maybe success that came with a cost you're not willing to pay again.

When you treat resistance as information instead of opposition, everything shifts.

You stop trying to overcome it and start getting curious about what it's guarding.

The Truth About Your "Stuckness"

If you're in that frustrating space of action-without-progress right now, I need you to know:

You're not behind, you're not broken, and you're not doing it wrong.

You're just standing at the threshold of change, and your nervous system is doing its job - making sure it's safe to cross.

The gap between where you are and where you're going isn't empty space - it's integration time. It's your psyche catching up with your ambition. It's your body negotiating with your brain.

Every entrepreneur you admire has spent time in this exact spot. The ones who made it through didn't push harder - they got honest about what was really stopping them.

So today, instead of adding another strategy to your list, try this:

Sit with the resistance. Ask it what it needs. Listen to what it's protecting.

Then take one small, true step forward.

Not because you should. Not because you're behind - but because you're ready to honor both your dreams and your defenses.

The brake isn't broken. It's just doing its job.

Maybe it's time to check if you still need it on.

_{^{Partner Disclosure: some of the links in my emails may contain affiliate links, which means if you click on them and make a purchase I may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. This helps support my work and allows me to continue providing valuable content to you free of charge. Thanks for your support!}}