The Real Cost of 'Yes'

Here’s a boundary rule I wish I learned before I burnt myself out trying to be “easy to work with,” “low maintenance,” and “always available”:

If it costs me recovery, it’s not a good deal.

Not in business. Not in friendships. Not in “being nice.”

Not in being the person who “can handle a lot.”

Because recovery isn’t a luxury.

It’s the thing that protects:

• your consistency

• your clarity

• your creativity

• your nervous system

• and yes… your ability to earn

The lie we get sold

A lot of us were taught that boundaries are selfish.

Or that boundaries are something you earn once you’re successful.
Like: “Once I’ve built the thing, then I’ll slow down.”

But if you’re navigating ADHD, perimenopause, burnout, or just a full life…

That approach is backwards.

Because when your energy has limits (and it does), the “price” of saying yes isn’t just time.

It’s tomorrow.

Boundary math (the part no one writes on the quote graphic)

A “yes” always costs something.

Sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it costs time.

But the expensive yes - that’s the one that costs your next day (or week).

So I’ve started asking a question that has saved me more than any productivity hack:

What does this yes cost me tomorrow?

Because if the price is:

• brain fog

• anxiety

• insomnia

• a two-day crash

• irritability that leaks onto everyone I love

• dopamine depletion where I can’t start anything the next day

…that’s not a “yes.”

That’s an invoice.

And it’s usually payable with interest.

Boundaries are profit protection

Here’s the reframe that finally made boundaries click for me:

Boundaries aren’t personal preferences. They’re profit protection.

If you say yes to everything, it doesn’t make you generous. It makes you a business with no margins.

And businesses with no margins eventually collapse.

Your “margin” is recovery.

Recovery is what keeps you showing up repeatedly - not perfectly - but consistently enough to build something that lasts.

The recovery budget (a quick check you can steal)

Before you agree to anything this week, try this little filter:

1) What energy does it require?
High / Medium / Low

2) What energy do I have available after my non-negotiables?
Sleep, work, kids, hormones, life admin, emotional load.

3) What’s the recovery time?
Do I bounce back in an hour….or do I “pay” for this for two days?

If your recovery time is longer than the value it delivers - it’s not aligned. It’s a leak.

Signs you’re agreeing to invoices (instead of opportunities)

You might be saying yes in a way that costs recovery if:

• you feel resentful before you’ve even started

• you need “a full day to recover” after basic interactions

• you keep promising timelines and then crashing

• you’re productive, but chronically foggy

• you’re constantly negotiating with your nervous system to cope

This is not you being “weak.”

It’s your system telling the truth.

5 boundary scripts (borrow them as-is)

Most people don’t need you to be available.

They need you to be clear.

Here are my go-to scripts when I can feel myself wanting to people-please:

1. “I can do X, not Y.”
   “I can jump on a 10-minute call, but I can’t take on extra tasks this week.”

2. “I can do Friday - or not at all.”
   “I can deliver this by Friday. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have to pass.”

3. “That doesn’t fit my capacity right now.”
   “I’d love to help, but it doesn’t fit my capacity this month.”

4. “Let me check my energy + get back to you.”
   “I don’t want to overcommit - I’ll confirm by tomorrow.”

5. “I’m protecting my recovery so I can show up well.”
   “I’m not available tonight. I’m in recovery mode.”

A quick note: You don’t have to justify your “no” with your diagnosis, your hormones, or your whole life story. Capacity is a complete sentence.

The micro-boundary that changes everything

If boundary setting feels scary, start here:

Replace “Yes” with “Let me check.”

That one sentence creates a pause.

And that pause is often the difference between:

• agreeing from pressure
  vs

• choosing from ownership

Because most of our “bad yes’s” happen fast.

They happen in reflex.

They happen because we’re trying to be easy.

Owning your energy in real life

This is what energy-led entrepreneurship looks like behind the scenes:

Not doing more, but doing what’s sustainable - so your business doesn’t require you to break.

You’re not here to build a business that looks good from the outside…

…while you feel wrecked on the inside.

You’re building something that supports you.

And that starts with protecting recovery like it’s revenue.

Because it kind of is.

👇 Your turn:

What boundary do you need to set this week?

Is it with a person, a task, a timeline, or your own expectations?

(And if you reply with what it is, I’ll help you turn it into a script you can actually send.)