When Feedback Feels Like Rejection

I spent an embarrassing amount of time last week being angry about something that had nothing to do with me.

My cousin a famous author - her latest book release has been everywhere, instant New York Times bestseller, Oprah-level coverage, the whole thing. It’s also a very personal memoir.

My newsfeed has been full of her articles and reviews - almost all of them glowing. But then I came across one that wasn't. It was pretty harsh, and to me felt very un-true.

As I was reading it, my face got hot. My chest tightened. I kept reading even though every word was making me more furious. Some protective part of me wanted to reach through the screen and tell them exactly why they were wrong.

Here's what makes this ridiculous, she doesn't need me to defend her. She's a successful professional writer who's been putting her work out into the world for years. She's probably built the emotional resilience to read something like that and move on without a second thought.

But me, I couldn't stop thinking about it for hours. And that's when I realized, this is what Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) looks like. That disproportionate emotional reaction to criticism - even when it's not directed at you.

That inability to just scroll past and forget about it. That visceral hurt or anger that feels completely out of your control.

If you have ADHD, you're probably nodding right now. You know this feeling intimately. And if you're building a business? RSD isn't just uncomfortable, it can be actively dangerous to your growth.

What RSD Really Is

RSD isn’t just “being sensitive.” It’s a nervous system response to perceived rejection or criticism - real or imagined.

It’s common in ADHD (and can be amplified by hormonal changes during perimenopause), because your brain’s emotional regulation system is already running hot.

So when something feels like rejection, it doesn’t just sting - it hits like a full-body alarm. Your heart races. Your mind replays the moment on loop. And suddenly, you’re questioning everything: your abilities, your worth, your entire business.

It’s not weakness. It’s wiring.

The Problem With RSD When Your Building a Business

Here's what nobody tells you about building a business, you will get negative feedback. Guaranteed.

Someone won't like your offer. A client will complain. A launch will flop. Someone will leave a harsh comment on your post, unsubscribe with a nasty note, or ghost you after a sales call and you'll spiral wondering what you did wrong.

And if you struggle with RSD, these moments don't just sting - they can completely derail you.

One negative comment can:

• Make you question your entire business model

• Keep you up at night

• Stop you from posting on social media for weeks

• Convince you that you're not cut out for this

• Make you want to burn it all down and start over

I've watched business owners tank their momentum because they couldn't recover from criticism that, objectively, wasn't even that harsh.

They just felt it so deeply that it became unbearable.

The version of you who can't handle negative feedback? That's not the version who can scale. Not because you need to be heartless or thick-skinned, but because growth requires you to keep showing up even when someone doesn't like what you're doing.

The Realisation

As I sat there fuming over that review, I realized something: she keeps writing. She keeps publishing. She keeps putting her work out there knowing that some people won’t like it.

Her and so many other top entrepreneurs, authors, creators have built extraordinary careers not because they never get criticized, but because they have learned how to metabolize criticism without letting it stop them. That's the skill.

Not avoiding negative feedback (impossible). Not becoming immune to it (also impossible, and honestly, undesirable - you want to care about your work).

But learning how to feel the sting without letting it define you.

Because here's the truth, the more visible you become, the more successful you get, the more you put yourself out there - the more criticism you will receive.

It's not a bug. It's a feature of doing anything meaningful.

How to Build Your RSD Resilience

This isn't about "growing thicker skin" or "not caring what people think."

If you struggle with RSD, that advice is useless. Instead, you need actual strategies to help you move through these moments without letting them take you out:

1. Name it in the moment.

   When you feel that overwhelming emotional reaction, literally say to yourself: "This is RSD. This feeling does not match the reality of the situation." Just naming it can help you create a tiny bit of space between the trigger and your response.

2. Set a time limit for spiraling.

   Give yourself permission to feel upset - but contain it. "I'm going to be mad about this for the next 10 minutes, or an hour, and then I'm done." Set a timer if you need to. When it goes off, physically move: go for a walk, change rooms, do something that signals to your nervous system that this chapter is over.

3. Collect evidence of the opposite.

   Keep a folder (digital or physical) of positive feedback, wins, testimonials, messages from people you've helped. When RSD hits, go read it. Not to make the negative feedback disappear, but to remind yourself of the fuller picture.

4. Separate feedback from identity.

   Someone not liking your offer doesn't mean you're a failure. Someone unsubscribing doesn't mean your work is worthless. Practice saying: "This person didn't connect with what I created" instead of "I'm not good enough."

5. Remember: criticism means you're in the arena.

   No one criticizes people who aren't doing anything. Negative feedback is often just proof that you're visible, that you're trying, that your work is reaching people. Some of those people won't be your people - and that's okay.

6. Get support from people who get it.

   Talk to someone who understands RSD (not someone who will say "just ignore the haters"). You need people who can validate how hard this feels while also helping you reality-check whether this feedback actually matters.

7. Ask: "Is this feedback useful?"

   Not all criticism is created equal. Some of it is genuinely helpful information about how to improve. Some of it is just noise from people who were never going to be your customers anyway. Learn to discern the difference, and only metabolize what's actually useful.

The Owner’s Perspective

Growing a business isn't just about marketing strategies and sales funnels. It's about becoming the kind of person who can handle the emotional reality of being visible.

Who can post on social media knowing that not everyone will like it.

Who can launch an offer knowing that some people will say no (or worse, say yes and then ask for a refund).

Who can write a newsletter, publish a book, put their ideas out into the world - and survive the inevitable criticism that comes with it.

My cousin keeps writing. She keeps publishing. Not because she's immune to criticism, but because she's learned that her work is bigger than any one person's opinion of it.

And you can learn that too. The business you want to build? It requires you to keep showing up even when it's uncomfortable.

Even when someone doesn't like what you're doing. Even when your RSD is screaming at you to hide.

You've already rebuilt yourself before - through big life pivots, through burnout and comebacks, through health issues, and starting over. You can do this too.

Keep building. Keep showing up. Keep putting your work into the world.

Some people won't like it. And you'll survive that.

You always do ✨

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