Starting From Zero

Towards the end of 2012, a couple years before I started my mortgage business - I was living in New Zealand with my now-husband. We’d just spent 4 months together while I was on an overseas adventure and I’d decided to stay in the country with him for good.

The only problem? I needed a job.

With years of banking experience under my belt, I should have been able to walk into the local bank and land a solid salary as a lender. But my permanent visa wasn’t finalized yet. So, when I was offered a role as a mortgage broker, I decided to take the leap. No income ceiling. No corporate red tape. Endless potential - was the dream I was sold!

There was just one catch: the retainer salary was only 40K NZD (about $23,000 USD). And if I wanted to earn more? I had to build my entire client base from scratch.

I didn’t know a soul. No auntie to call in a favor. No friend of a friend to send business my way. Zero connections.

So what did I do?

I grabbed a phone book. (Do you remember those?!) I spent evenings holed up in the bedroom, cold-calling homeowners with their houses listed online.

The first 50 calls? Pure torture. My hands would shake before I dialled. I got hung up on more times than I can count.

But here's the thing: The first 100 no’s aren't rejections - they're data.

Each "no" taught me something. The person who said "we already have a broker" taught me to ask if they were happy with their rates and service. The one who said "we're not ready yet" taught me to follow up in three months, not three weeks. The hostile hang-ups taught me that 4 PM on a Tuesday was better than 7 PM on a Sunday.

I also joined networking groups full of people who already had their trusted brokers and weren't exactly eager to take a chance on me. So I flipped the script. Instead of asking for referrals, I started giving them out like candy - no strings attached.

I became the person who connected the accountant, or electrician, or real estate agent with one of my clients or friends.

The result? Within six months, I wasn't just another new face in the room. I was a trusted referrer. And when they eventually needed a broker, I was the natural choice.

I worked evenings and weekends when most of the established brokers clocked off. I made house calls and I held my clients' hands through every step of the process - making their experience so smooth they couldn't help but tell their friends.

It took time, but word spread about this blonde lady with an American accent who went the extra mile.

My client list grew. My income multiplied. And I eventually built a thriving business from absolute zero.

✅ What This Means for You

I’m not telling this story to suggest you start a mortgage business from scratch.

I’m sharing it because this is what the beginning of any business often looks like:

• You give more than you get.

• You work evenings or weekends while juggling a job and family.

• You offer your knowledge, time, or services for free to earn reviews and referrals.

• You connect with people doing what you want to do and find ways to help them first.

It’s not forever…

But if someone said: “Put in two years of hard work now to set yourself up for the next twenty,” wouldn’t you take that deal?

💰 The “Value First” Strategy

Back then, I didn’t find success by walking into networking events trying to sell myself - I walked in looking for ways to help. I passed referrals, shared resources, and tried to connect people. That built trust faster than any sales pitch.

If your building a digital business, “help first” can work like this:

• Show up in the spaces where your audience hangs out. Facebook groups, LinkedIn communities, Slack channels - join conversations not to promote yourself, but to understand pain points.

• Answer questions generously. If someone’s struggling with a tool, strategy, or mindset hurdle you’ve mastered, take the time to write a thoughtful reply. People remember that.

• Share practical resources. Curate templates, guides, or tools that make life easier. Even if it’s not your own content, being a “connector” positions you as a trusted voice.

• Create content that solves problems. Every post, video, or email should help your audience take one step forward - not just hear your story.

• Offer a hand to people doing what you want to be doing. Instead of only asking for help and advice, ask how you can support them - share their content, give them feedback, help them test something. Connections built this way often open doors later.

Think of it like “digital networking.” When you consistently give value without expecting a return, trust snowballs. And trust is the currency that fuels any business, online or offline.

📚 The Science Behind the Starting from Zero

Here’s what most people don’t realize: tiny improvements compound into extraordinary results. James Clear popularized this idea in Atomic Habits - if you improve just 1% a day, you’ll be 37x better after a year.

But here’s the catch: the early stages feel brutal because progress is invisible. Researchers often call this the “Valley of Despair” - a dip in motivation and confidence that shows up around month 3 or 4 of learning a new skill or growing a business. You’re working hard, but the results haven’t “compounded” enough to be obvious yet.

This is where most people quit.

There’s another psychological principle you can use to your advantage: the sunk cost effect. Behavioral economists call it a bias - our tendency to keep going because we’ve already invested time, energy, and money. But for entrepreneurs, this can be rocket fuel.

Every referral I made, every late-night client call I took, every networking event I attended created psychological commitment. I was literally investing myself into my business’s success, making it harder to walk away.

Studies on habit formation and entrepreneurship show that those who push through this “invisible phase” are far more likely to succeed - not because of luck, but because they’ve built momentum that others give up on too soon.

So, when it feels like you’re giving more than you’re getting, remember:

You’re stacking invisible wins.

You’re wiring your brain to stay the course.

And one day, the compounding curve will kick in - and it will look like “overnight” success to everyone else.

🧠 When Your Body Works Against You

Here's the part that makes this harder if you're navigating ADHD or perimenopause:

ADHD Reality Check: Your brilliant, innovative brain comes with executive dysfunction as a package deal. Cold calling when you can't even remember to return your friend's text? It can feel impossible.

What works for me: Batch processing and micro-commitments. I block lots of time, lets say 30 minutes (with a timer) for "connection time" - responding to comments, engaging in groups, sending DMs.

I commit to just a handful of meaningful interactions per session - small enough that my brain couldn't talk me out of it, but consistent enough to build an online presence.

Perimenopause Curveball: Brain fog so thick you forget your own business pitch mid-sentence. Anxiety that turns every "no" into evidence you're not cut out for this. Sleep so disrupted that you're dragging yourself through days that should be productive.

My breakthrough: I stopped fighting my cycle and ups and downs, and started working with it. High-energy days were for creating content and showing up in communities. Low-energy days were for behind-the-scenes work - email sequences, course outlines, systems setup, (a nap).

I tracked my symptoms and patterns for two months and tried my best to build my calendar around them, not against them.

💡 The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything

Stop thinking you're "starting over." Cause really, you're not.

Every skill you've learned, every person you've met, every challenge you've overcome - it all transfers to your business right now.

• The mom juggling three kids’ schedules? She’s a project manager, logistics expert, and master negotiator - exactly what it takes to run launches or build courses.

• The woman who navigated corporate politics? She already understands audience psychology, messaging, and influence.

• The entrepreneur managing ADHD? They’ve spent years engineering systems, hacking focus, and solving problems creatively under pressure.

• The man who’s spent decades in a trade or a high-pressure career? He’s mastered discipline, problem-solving under stress, and leading teams - skills that translate seamlessly to entrepreneurship.

• The woman navigating perimenopause while building a business? She’s been leading through brain fog, anxiety, and unpredictability - if she can thrive through this season, she can lead through anything.

You’re not starting from zero. You’re starting from experience, resourcefulness, and grit. 

That’s your unfair advantage.

✨ Your Takeaway This Week

If you’re building something new, here’s your reminder:

It’s okay to hustle for a season to create the life you actually want.

You’ll likely need to give more than you get at first - building skills, trust, connections, and clients all take time.

Also, ADHD and perimenopause symptoms aren’t proof you “can’t do it.” They’re signals to build smarter systems, lean into flexibility, ask for support, and rest when you need to.

The early grind is temporary. The freedom it buys you? That could lasts decades.

Would you take that deal?

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