The Cost of Comparison

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about comparison, and how it can quietly slow our progress.

Not in big, obvious ways, but in the small moments. When we scroll. When we compare our chapter two to someone else’s highlight reel. When we mistake illusion for inspiration.

Comparison is one of the most subtle forms of self-sabotage. It convinces us we’re behind - when really, we’re just on a different timeline.

About a month ago I came across a story that really made me pause. It was about these two big fitness influencers (you know, the kind with chiselled abs, endless energy, and ‘discipline’ dripping from every post). They were convicted after a police raid revealed an entire stash of drugs and steroids in their house.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the hundreds of thousands of people who followed them…

People who had been showing up, trying their best, ticking every box on the “morning routine checklist” - but still feeling like it wasn’t enough.

People who looked in the mirror and thought, “If I just worked harder, maybe I could look like that.”

That’s the dark side of comparison. We measure ourselves against illusions - and then blame ourselves for not living up to them.

✅ The Cost of Comparing

Comparison is one of the most common traps in business.

We see the million-dollar launches, the “six-figures in six months” headlines, the polished sales pages - and we start wondering: What’s wrong with me? Why am I not there yet?

But what we don’t see are the months or years of trial and error that came before it. The offers that flopped. The launches that barely broke even. The borrowed money, the sleepless nights, the quiet panic of wondering if it’s all worth it.

We don’t see the anxiety that builds behind the grid. The self-doubt that creeps in between the success posts. The “I almost quit” moments that never make it into the carousel.

If you live with ADHD, this can be even more brutal. Your brain craves novelty and struggles with consistency - and then social media shoves “perfect routines” and “morning rituals” in your face.

Perimenopause adds another layer. Your body is literally rewriting its operating system - your energy, mood, and weight can shift daily. And yet, the algorithm still serves up highlight reels of 20-something CEOs telling you to hustle and “just be consistent.”

The more we scroll, the smaller we feel.

But the problem isn’t you. It’s that a lot of times we’re measuring our real lives against someone else’s performance.

I'm not saying everyone’s success isn't real. I'm just saying the stories we’re comparing ourselves to are incomplete.

⚡ Reclaiming Your Power

Comparison pulls your focus away from what you can control. It turns your attention outward, to what others are doing - instead of inward, to what actually moves you forward.

Every minute spent wondering how someone else is growing, earning, or succeeding is energy you could be using to build your version of success.

Comparison tricks the nervous system into a constant state of threat - like you’re perpetually behind in a race that doesn’t even exist. And when your brain feels unsafe, creativity and problem-solving shut down. You stop taking risks, and you second-guess every move.

But when you bring your focus back to your lane, something shifts. You start noticing your own momentum again - the skills you’re building, the lessons you’ve earned, the habits that are slowly stacking up.

Progress feels slower when you’re looking sideways. But the second you look forward, it accelerates.

The Owner’s Perspective

Owners don’t measure progress by how others are performing - they measure it by alignment. By asking, “Does this move me closer to the kind of life I actually want?”

That’s the switch, from chasing validation to creating value. From being a consumer of success stories to being the author of your own.

Here’s a few practices that help:

1. Next time you catch yourself spiraling into comparison, pause and ask…

> “What story am I making up about their success?”
> “What evidence do I have that it’s real, or even aligned with what I actually want?”
> “What’s one small, real action I can take today that moves my story forward?”

2. Audit your inputs. Curate your feed like you’d curate your workspace. If it doesn’t inspire you, it drains you.

3. Shift from envy to evidence. When you catch yourself comparing, reframe it: “If I’m triggered by their success, it’s probably pointing to something I want — and proof that it’s possible.”

4. Track your own metrics. Instead of “followers” or “revenue,” measure consistency, energy, impact. That’s what actually builds longevity.

5. Return to your ‘why.’ Every time you feel behind, remind yourself what you’re building for. Freedom. Purpose. Time. Ownership.

Because comparison keeps you performing. Ownership brings you peace.

So next time you catch yourself scrolling and shrinking, take a breath and come back to what’s real.

You don’t need to compete with a movie set. You just need to keep showing up for the story you’re actually living.

The internet might sell illusions - but your real life, your work, your growth - that’s where the truth is.

Keep building from there.

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