Who's Holding You Accountable?

When I first started working from home, I thought I'd struck gold. No commute. No distractions, nobody to answer to. The freedom to structure my day exactly how I wanted.

But here's what actually happened:

By noon, I’d answered a few emails, half-written a post I never published, fallen into a rabbit hole of “research” (aka Instagram scrolling), and maybe checked off one easy thing that actually needed done.

By 5 PM, I had refreshed my inbox 27 times, responded to a couple messages that weren’t urgent, started three projects I didn’t finish, and been interrupted at least ten times - (laundry buzzer, dog barking, Amazon delivery, and another “quick” scroll that turned into an hour).

I felt frazzled, overstimulated, and somehow…like I hadn’t moved the needle on anything important. 

Sound at all familiar? 

If you're a woman navigating ADHD or perimenopause, this scenario might feel even more relatable.

Your brain - already managing executive function challenges from ADHD or the extreme brain fog of hormonal changes - is now operating without external structure.

Perimenopause messes with memory and focus - especially once your cycle starts getting irregular. Add ADHD into the mix, and you’ve got a brain that actually needs external structure to function well. Starting tasks can feel like trying to climb a mountain in flip-flops.

And when you’re working on your own at home? There’s no one checking in if you miss a deadline. No Monday morning meeting where you have to show your progress.

The danger of solo work isn’t that you’re lazy - it’s that you start drifting. You can feel insanely busy while making zero real progress.

And here's the truth I had to learn the hard way: If you don't have someone holding you accountable, you'll spend too much time spinning in circles instead of moving forward.

🔥 Why Accountability is a Game-Changer

Accountability isn’t about punishment or pressure. It’s about giving your brain the structure it actually wants - especially when you’re building something from scratch.

Psychologists have been studying this for over a century:

The Power of Presence (a.k.a. Social Facilitation) Back in 1898, a researcher named Norman Triplett noticed something weird - cyclists pedaled faster when they were racing against other people than when they were riding solo. Turns out, we humans just do better when someone’s around, even if they’re not actively helping.

A huge review of 241 studies confirmed this: having people nearby boosts performance on tasks we already know how to do - like answering emails, cranking out content, or tackling admin work.

Translation: if you’ve ever been way more productive in a coffee shop than at your kitchen table, this is why.

Your brain switches into “get stuff done” mode when you know someone else is around.

✅  Commitment Devices: Why Saying It Out Loud Works

We humans really like to see ourselves as consistent. Once we say we’re going to do something - even casually - we feel this subtle internal (and external) pressure to follow through.

This isn’t just about “willpower.” It’s baked into how our brains work. Being inconsistent can make us feel unreliable, even to ourselves. That’s why telling a friend your goal, posting it in a group chat, or writing it down where someone else will see it can massively boost your odds of actually getting it done.

The Hawthorne Effect: Someone’s Watching, You’re Winning

Ever notice how much harder you work when someone’s looking over your shoulder? It turns out that just knowing someone is paying attention - even if they’re not judging or helping - makes you more likely to follow through.

Studies have shown it can bump your chances of completing a task by as much as 40%. Wild, right?

You don’t need a boss breathing down your neck to make this work. All you need is a person - maybe a friend, a coach, a mentor, a business group, or business buddy - who knows your goals and checks in regularly.

Someone who won’t let you drift when things get hard.

🪄  The Magic of Body Doubling

One of the best focus hacks I’ve ever found? Body doubling.

It started as a strategy for people with ADHD, but honestly, it works for just about anyone who struggles to get stuff done. The idea is simple: you work on your own thing, but you do it with another person present - either in person or virtually.

Here’s why it’s so powerful:

Your brain gets a dopamine boost. A 2019 research review found that being around others activates the brain’s reward circuitry. For ADHD brains - where dopamine is often lower - this can be a game-changer.

Focus rubs off. If your brain is easily distracted, having someone else quietly working nearby can act like an anchor. Their focus helps you stay on task.

It makes boring tasks bearable. Suddenly, that dreaded spreadsheet, inbox session, or pile of laundry to fold doesn’t feel so bad when someone’s virtually “in the trenches” with you.

And no, this doesn’t mean chatting or collaborating. It’s about quiet presence, not conversation. You can do this in a coffee shop, or an online co-working space.

🧠 Why ADHD and Perimenopause Make This Extra Critical

If you’ve got ADHD or you’re in the middle of hormone changes, accountability isn’t a “nice-to-have.” It’s a survival tool for your brain.

ADHD Brains Thrive on External Structure

It’s not about laziness - it’s about a brain that works differently. Motivation and dopamine levels don’t fire the same way, which makes starting and finishing tasks feel way harder than it “should.”

Here’s what’s going on:

• Starting tasks can feel overwhelming.

• Prioritizing is like juggling spaghetti.

• Time management is slippery at best.

And that dopamine “reward” you’re supposed to get when you finish something? It’s often muted.

That’s why body doubling (working alongside someone) and regular check-ins are so powerful. They act like a jumpstart for your reward system and give your brain the structure it craves.

Even just having someone present - virtually or in person - can make boring, repetitive work feel less painful and easier to get through.

Perimenopause: When Hormones Hijack Your Brain

Perimenopause adds its own special brand of chaos. As estrogen levels dip, it impacts parts of your brain that control memory, focus, and emotional regulation. Researchers have found this stage can bring measurable dips in:

• Verbal memory and learning

• Processing speed

• Attention and working memory

It’s not “in your head.” The changes are real, and they can shake your confidence at work and at home.

On top of that, many of us experience major sleep disruptions. The brain can't regulate sleep properly without adequate estrogen and progesterone. Poor sleep creates a vicious cycle where executive function becomes even more impaired.

Why Accountability Is a Lifeline

In both ADHD and perimenopause, your internal systems aren’t always reliable. That’s why external systems - like regular check-ins, structured work time, and body doubling - are so helpful.

Accountability gives you:

• A steady rhythm when your energy is unpredictable

• A way to keep moving forward even when your brain feels foggy

• A boost of motivation when your dopamine or hormones aren’t cooperating

I’ve learned to stop shaming myself for “needing” this kind of support.

It’s not weakness, it’s how you win when your biology doesn’t play by traditional productivity rules.

💡 How to Build Your Own Accountability System

Here are five simple, science-backed ways to make sure you’re not running your business in a vacuum:

1. Weekly Check-In Partner

   Why it works: When you tell someone your goals, your brain feels a natural push to follow through. Psychologists call this “commitment bias” - we like to stay consistent with what we say.

   How to try it: Set up a 15-minute weekly check-in with a trusted friend, peer, coach or business buddy.

2. Virtual Body Doubling 

   Why it works: Having someone else present - even silently - activates your brain’s focus circuits. It’s not about hierarchy or being “watched.” It’s just parallel presence.

3. Accountability Groups

   Why it works: The “co-action effect” means we naturally work harder when we see other people doing the same thing. You can do this via masterminds, business groups or just setting up your own group people doing the same thing you are.

   Just knowing others are grinding alongside you can be very motivating.

4. Goal Review Ritual

   Why it works: Regular feedback makes us more effective. A weekly ritual helps you get clear on wins, misses, and priorities for the week ahead.

   How to try it: Spend 10 minutes on Friday reviewing what you accomplished, and 10 minutes on a Sunday night or Monday planning your week setting your top three goals.

5. Celebrate Wins Together

   Why it works: A quick celebration (even a simple “you crushed it!” text) gives your brain a dopamine hit and helps motivation stick.

   How to try it: Send your accountability coach, group or buddy your top three wins of the week. Make it a weekly ritual.

✨ Your Takeaway This Week

Working on your business solo from home doesn’t mean doing everything alone. The most successful entrepreneurs I know are surrounded by systems and people that make quitting harder and finishing easier.

The science is clear: our brains are wired to thrive with external structure. 

Whether you’re navigating ADHD, perimenopause, or just the challenges of building a business solo, accountability isn’t just optional - it can be your secret weapon.

🔥 Want to start actually getting sh*t done?

If you’re tired of spinning your wheels and want to start smashing your goals - tailored accountability (that actually works with your wiring) plus live body-doubling co-working sessions are about to become a key feature of the new membership community I’m building.

I’m putting together a small beta test group to try this part out first - these people will get exclusive early access for FREE.

Spots are SUPER limited, so if you want to be one of the first to experience this game-changing system…

👇 Register your interest here 👇

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